how to have deeper spiritual conversations (3 proven tips)

these are my proven conversation ideas to build rich friendship

How do you have deeper conversations?

This is one of the most important skills you’re going to need to develop. Here’s where the skill of learning how to talk matters:

• Taking surface relationships and going deep with friends

• Discipleship contexts

• Accelerated Relationship building (imagine having 1 conversation to get to know someone vs 5) (getting plugged into a new fellowship)

• Talking with strangers about God

Today we’re going to tackle a really coveted skill I see people crave but don’t know how to execute. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now and wanted to share some of my favorite tips that I use every day.

I’m not the best conversationalist but I’ll tell you that these tips have really helped me. I’m at the point, where I feel confident talking to anyone about anything and finding a way to weave God in it.

If you practice them, I guarantee that you:

• will feel more confident carrying any conversation forward more

• will grow a pastoral muscle in conversations to help guide people toward God

• feel more confident talking to anyone - from a complete stranger to an elder at your church, to a top-level CEO.

Here are my top 3 tips for taking any conversation deeper.

Tip 1: Highlight ONE thing they say, and expound upon it

This is the easiest and the most profound thing you can do to make every conversation deeper.

Here’s the tip:

When someone is sharing something, highlight ONE word of interest in what they’re saying and expound upon it.

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about.

Example 1:

You: How was your day?
Person: Eh it was fine. I did a lot. But now that I think about it man today I had a rough day.
You: What made it rough?

Example 2:

Person: I just got back from a vacation. I went to Hawaii. It was amazing.
You: I’m glad it was amazing. What about Hawaii do you love?

I know that looks super simple. But it’s actually really powerful.

With this tip:

• They will feel really heard and understood (because you’re using their words)

• You can literally carry on the conversation endlessly. (no more silence!)

• You will understand them at a deeper level

Do you see how easy that is? You literally find one word of interest and you just ask a simple, non-evasive question for them to expound upon it.

Best of all - it’s so so easy to do.

Here are some tips for finding that one word

• Words that carry emotion

• Words that carry opinion

• Words that are interesting

You won’t believe how many conversations I can carry on endlessly simply because I highlight one thing they say and ask them to expound on it. It has led to very deep, very powerful, and very connecting conversations.

Find one word. Expound on it.