Stop Trying to Convince People to Follow Jesus
What if discipleship meant filtering people out, not pulling them in?
The Cost Is the Point
Have you ever tried to disciple someone who seemed interested at first… but faded over time?
I’ve had many of those. At first, it’s hopeful. But somewhere down the line, the hunger disappears. And I find myself wondering: Were they ever really serious about following Jesus?
What if our job wasn’t to convince people to follow Jesus—but to give them a reason not to?
It made me rethink the whole idea of successful discipleship.
I’m reminded of Jesus’ invitation to follow him, “Whoever wants to follow me has to take up his cross..”
I’ve realized much of my approach has been deeply American—persuasive, appealing, even salesy.
But Jesus?
Jesus doesn’t beg people to follow him.
He warns them.
When someone asked to follow him, Jesus said, Are you sure?
Because a king counts his army before going to war.
Because this will cost you more than you think.
It’s not that he was trying to push them away.
It’s that he was testing their hunger.
He knew: the ones who really want it—will want it more when they hear the cost.
The casual will always walk away.
That’s shifted how I think about mentorship and discipleship.
Maybe my role isn’t to convince.
Maybe it’s to clarify the cost.
Not to make following Jesus unattractive—he still promises that you’ll become a fisher of men.
But to give people a way out… and see who still stays.
Because those are the ones ready to go deeper.
Have you ever tried this?
Have you ever led with the cost, not the reward?
You were made for goodness,
Phil